How to have sex when children are alive

ImageThis is a topic I had in my mind for a while and had been waiting to write an entry on. But first to update you all on my life the past couple weeks. I just became more angry before any other emotion after the firing, mostly because I’ve never been fired in my life, and it was something completely out of my control. But on a happy and unexpected note, I had an interview for a support worker at the Y in before/after school programs. Although it’s only part time, it’s a REAL job and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with the world what I do. I find out this Friday, so I will definitely keep you guys posted. On a personal note, Tim returned home for a short time, but sadly had to return to London again for an undetermined amount of time. So sirs and I are getting back into our routine and doing our best not to kill each other while daddy is away.
Not that the sex thing is an issue now that I don’t have someone to have sex with. But when my husband is around and in the future when sirs is a human being with ears. Whenever I have this discussion with other parents most of them say they have their children in the room across the hall and just giver. Umm, am I the only one who wouldn’t be comfortable with this? Currently our house is attached to my dad’s, with cement, brick, insulation, etc etc between us, and I’m STILL convinced they can hear us. Now once sirs is old enough to hear us I’m not sure my husband and I will ever have sex again. I figure there are only a few options if I ever want to have sex again- 1) Move him to the basement- beside the kitty litter 2) Get a 6 story house, and he still lives in the basement 3) Wait until he’s out of the house (um at 18?) 4) Send him to boarding school. So as you can tell there are few options and none are viable, shit. Other weird fucking couples may be okay with their children listening to them do the humpy hump, but I’m not one of those freaks. Some of you may say, “Oh, we just wait until they’re asleep”. Um yea, just a heads up, they’re not really asleep, you naive bastards. In any baby books, toddler, etc, or marriage books, I’ve never seen how to comfortably have sex while children are in your house. That’s one thing I’d like to know. Anyone have any suggestions, and not anything I’ve mentioned here.
Mumma C

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10 years

I had a few ideas floating around my brain for tonight’s blog, and I settled on the topic of high school. I’ve been very reminiscent of high school recently after one of my old friends told a bunch of us via Facebook that it has been ten years since high school. Immediately what came to mind was Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, “It’s been ten years since high school? God, where have I been?” “I’m stumped, where?” Where the hell have I been and why am I the first one to have a baby? I know those two thoughts don’t usually go together, but seriously, I’m the last person, I’d thought, to have a baby first. It’s usually a weekly conversation between my mother and I about how much I hate kids, and just last week she said “yea, you’ve always bragged about it”. So how in the sam hell was I the first to go down this spiral of “for the rest of time bound together”?

As you can tell by the photo alongside this blog I think I maybe was a bit of an ugly duckling (grade 10 here I believe). I always seemed to have friends and was never the girl who was picked on, but whenever it’s mentioned in adulthood, they all agree, yea you were kinda ugly. When I show Tim pictures he always says I looked like Ronald McDonald with that hair (it was also permed at one point). I allow my friends from then to now say I was ugly, but back then it probably would have made me crawl into my bunk bed and cry a little. I thought the hair was cool, especially a red perm! In hindsight I suppose it wasn’t the best decision. I also didn’t wear any makeup, or wear jeans until grade 10. One person once said my face looked like a slab of meat; imagine how attractive that skin is. photoI didn’t start looking more or less like I do now until grade 11. My hair grew out, became blonde and bronzer had become my new best friend. At my grad roast, made by teachers (real nice), they said I was the “most likely to sit by the dining room toaster tanning while applying makeup”. Let’s just say I had time to make up for my lack of makeup wearing earlier in my teen years.

Thinking of the people I met in high school can be saved for another type of blog, and another time where someone actually cares. I just wanted to mention one person who just came across my mind while writing this blog because it’s a quick, I think, hilarious story. Just as I was coming into my own, looks wise and confidence wise, I was interested in an older boy who I had a crush on since grade 9. I finally got the courage to start talking to him and hanging around his friends. Long story short, some how I ended up going on a date with his friend and never once with the boy I had the crush on. After a few months of dating, during the summer I went to the guy’s house and he obviously had certain plans in mind. I went into his basement room and he had all the candles lit, and soft music playing in the background. All very sweet and totally the way to get into a 17 year olds pants. I can’t actually remember if we had sex, but I’ll tell you what I do remember. The soft music he was playing in the background was the baritone voice of Toni Braxton. Who the hell plays Toni Braxton to woo a girl? Oh, he also drove a maroon Mazda Miata… ummm lots of questions swirling 10 years later.

Everyone always says college is the best years of their lives, high school for me was the best four years of my life. I had the best time and the best friends. I hope everyone can say the same of their time in high school.

Mumma C