How to have sex when children are alive

ImageThis is a topic I had in my mind for a while and had been waiting to write an entry on. But first to update you all on my life the past couple weeks. I just became more angry before any other emotion after the firing, mostly because I’ve never been fired in my life, and it was something completely out of my control. But on a happy and unexpected note, I had an interview for a support worker at the Y in before/after school programs. Although it’s only part time, it’s a REAL job and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with the world what I do. I find out this Friday, so I will definitely keep you guys posted. On a personal note, Tim returned home for a short time, but sadly had to return to London again for an undetermined amount of time. So sirs and I are getting back into our routine and doing our best not to kill each other while daddy is away.
Not that the sex thing is an issue now that I don’t have someone to have sex with. But when my husband is around and in the future when sirs is a human being with ears. Whenever I have this discussion with other parents most of them say they have their children in the room across the hall and just giver. Umm, am I the only one who wouldn’t be comfortable with this? Currently our house is attached to my dad’s, with cement, brick, insulation, etc etc between us, and I’m STILL convinced they can hear us. Now once sirs is old enough to hear us I’m not sure my husband and I will ever have sex again. I figure there are only a few options if I ever want to have sex again- 1) Move him to the basement- beside the kitty litter 2) Get a 6 story house, and he still lives in the basement 3) Wait until he’s out of the house (um at 18?) 4) Send him to boarding school. So as you can tell there are few options and none are viable, shit. Other weird fucking couples may be okay with their children listening to them do the humpy hump, but I’m not one of those freaks. Some of you may say, “Oh, we just wait until they’re asleep”. Um yea, just a heads up, they’re not really asleep, you naive bastards. In any baby books, toddler, etc, or marriage books, I’ve never seen how to comfortably have sex while children are in your house. That’s one thing I’d like to know. Anyone have any suggestions, and not anything I’ve mentioned here.
Mumma C

Babysitter care: lather, rinse, repeat

Since the babysitter is finally starting tomorrow I’ve been losing sleep over how she is to eat while here. Is it like every other job where you pack a lunch or am I expected to feed her my own food AND pay her? That doesn’t seem right, paying someone to eat my food, which I already have very little of. Should she eat what the baby eats at lunch, a peanut butter sandwich and fruit, or should she go BBQ herself some chicken? Do I say help yourself to anything, anything that you can find in the corners of the cupboards and the fridge. Is it rude to be like, “bring your own food, don’t want you fainting while looking after my kid”? Definitely need some feedback on this one as I have zero experience with it. The only babysitting experience I have is when my babysitters would look after me in the evening or just after school, and they just ate whatever junk food in the house they could find and used our landline to call their boyfriends. Oh the good old days when the parents didn’t want the babysitter using the phone because if there were an emergency no one could get through, and where you’d be too scared to eat their food but you saw some chips or cake that you just couldn’t pass up.
As a young babysitter myself in the 90s, the era of landlines and stove popped popcorn, I don’t remember ever getting fed during my jobs. But times have changed and I’m pretty sure what we were doing back then was a form of child labor, and we were happy to get paid 20 bucks for an entire days work looking after 5 kids. I did the math, and this is after a little child labor of my own, our babysitter is getting paid MINIMUM 300 a week. 300 a week??? I don’t think I even make that picking up poop! Fucking bullshit right there. I don’t think this girl deserves my food after getting paid more than half the working population of Canada.
Any advice would be appreciated readers! And those on Facebook, please comment here, not on the post as it comes up there.
Mumma C

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Questions… And more questions

I feel there should be a handbook listing every single possible thing a speechless lump could do, and all the things to do when said things occur. My husband and I are constantly questioning what the hell to do in any given situation. “Should we give him a bottle”, “is he cold, is he hot”, “should we let him cry”, “is he hungry”, “are his teeth bothering him”, “should we keep letting him cry”, “I don’t know what to do, do you?”, “should he still be crying”, “do we go in now to check on him, or wait another 5 minutes”. Oh the list is endless, and this is just what we asked each other tonight, and we’ve had this kid for a year now. You’d think we’d know what we were doing by now… Nope. Luckily I have someone that picks up my slack and questioning without hesitation, even if he questions just as much as I do.
So I have actually been told by other parents that you question yourself a lot, ok cool, check ONE off the list. But I feel the questions they are talking about are things that could change the whole course of your child’s life. For example, am I giving him the right education, do I give him enough affection, is he getting the proper nutrition, have I taught him to be a well rounded, caring, community giving human being. Whereas, I’m fucking still wondering if you change the diaper after two pees, or one poop, and what does that cry mean… beats the hell out of me. Pretty sure most parents, at least mothers, master the cry after week one.
Wait! Maybe that’s one for the blog, something other parents never told me. They “say” they know their baby’s cry, “oh that one means he’s hungry, this one means he’s tired, this one means he peed, and wait… And a poo is on the way”. I was all ready to be the baby whisperer when Cobain arrived, but come 13 months later I don’t know one whiny cry from the next. I may pretend I do, because that’s what good mothers do. But hell, I’ve decided this blog is a free for all, and to let all those soon to be parents know what it’s really all about because no one will ever tell the truth 🙂 I’ll admit yet another thing, I don’t know one Cobain cry from the next!
What inspired this blog was a screaming, “crying”, baby a half hour into bed time, now after a million questions between us, and writing this blog, the beast has settled. Amen!
Mumma C