So many rants, so little time

Hello all! I realize it’s been a while since my last post and the shitty thing is that I had so many things to complain amount during my absence, shame. Since all of those things have now floated away this post will more than likely be a mish mash (if that’s a word).
I still haven’t looked into the daycare thing, surprise surprise, I’m not a procrastinator. I keep thinking once my babysitter leaves me in August that will give me the push I need to actually look into childcare. Speaking of the babysitter, things are still fine with her although she makes me late for work usually twice a week, which is a real piss off. I have to remind her that her being late for work makes me late for work, but yet it keeps happening. I can’t yell at her and tell her how irresponsible that is, like I want to, so I instead gently reminder she’s a fucking idiot. I have also discovered she has an insane artistic ability. I walked in last night and she was finishing a portrait of Ellen Degeneres and it was probably one of the best drawings I’ve ever seen. When I told Tim this the first thing he asks is if she’s a lesbian. Uh… Moving along… And, maybe. But I’m thinking of having her do something for me, and I don’t mean sexually, if she is gay. I thought um maybe a portrait of sirs, but that is something every parent would want, boooooring, so maybe some artwork, just not sure what yet. Plus I feel every wall is covered in our house and it just seems insulting to have someone pour their heart and soul into something and then you hang their art above your toilet.
Still looking for a job elsewhere, no go still and I’m really beginning to think it’s never going to happen in this one horse town. Dog walking is still dog walking, pickin up poop one day at a time, making the big bucks. Nothing really exciting to report there.
Just wanted to drop a post at least just so you know I’m still out here, you know, leading the exciting life that is, my life?
Mumma C

Good parent?

It’s 6:06 pm and I’m already laying my sweet ass down to bed, and yes this is normal for me. The baby’s bedtime has now become the parent’s bedtime, and I’m lovin it. So what’s my excuse since he’s not here… um, I’m lazy and I love bed? Although last night I actually left the house at 10pm to see the supermoon, which wasn’t very super, but then I got scared because it was dark out and ran back inside. I haven’t seen darkness around me in so long I forgot what it looked like. I’m also currently wearing my new Jaws shirt, and I don’t like it as much… maybe it’ll grow on me once I wear it in public and people tell me how awesome it is.

So I thought tonight I should steer a little towards the main purpose of my blog, and get back to parenting. I’ve been told, not very often mind you, by people that they think I’m a good mom and doing a good job with Cobain. I always say thank you and mumble something under my breathe like, how the hell would you know? People who aren’t with us 24 hours a day, or even for an hour out of a month aren’t very reliable sources on what makes me a good mom. For all they know I bring Cobain out of his closet when people visit, which is never, so technically he’s always in his closet. When friends or family see me with Cobain sure I feed him once in a while, give him some face squeezes, and change his diaper, if I remember, and I always think to myself, is that what they consider makes a good mom? I feel like the only person who could make an accurate statement of whether I’m a good mom or not is my husband because he’s the one who has to deal with our stupid ugly faces all day and night. I feel when people tell you you’re a good mother they think it’s the right thing to say, so they do, which just irritates me. It’s like when people tell you your baby is cute. You lyin’, you lyin’ to me, don’t fuckin lie. Cobain just happens to actually be cute, but other actual ugly babies. People think that’s what you should say when you meet a newborn or a child for the first time, but they’re all lying. I feel sorry for parents who think their child is cute, and everyone behind their backs are really saying, “good god, holy mother of mary that is one unfortunate looking child”. Hey, you want to know the truth about your kid on the ugly scale, and whether you’re a horrible mom or not, I’ll tell you! Don’t poop on my lawn and tell me it’s gold, or whatever the saying is, don’t just say the obligatory “you’re a good mom” cause I don’t want to hear it. Now, if you have something to back that statement up then please, shower me with compliments.

I know the truth hurts sometimes, but sometimes you have to hear it.
Mumma C

Questions… And more questions

I feel there should be a handbook listing every single possible thing a speechless lump could do, and all the things to do when said things occur. My husband and I are constantly questioning what the hell to do in any given situation. “Should we give him a bottle”, “is he cold, is he hot”, “should we let him cry”, “is he hungry”, “are his teeth bothering him”, “should we keep letting him cry”, “I don’t know what to do, do you?”, “should he still be crying”, “do we go in now to check on him, or wait another 5 minutes”. Oh the list is endless, and this is just what we asked each other tonight, and we’ve had this kid for a year now. You’d think we’d know what we were doing by now… Nope. Luckily I have someone that picks up my slack and questioning without hesitation, even if he questions just as much as I do.
So I have actually been told by other parents that you question yourself a lot, ok cool, check ONE off the list. But I feel the questions they are talking about are things that could change the whole course of your child’s life. For example, am I giving him the right education, do I give him enough affection, is he getting the proper nutrition, have I taught him to be a well rounded, caring, community giving human being. Whereas, I’m fucking still wondering if you change the diaper after two pees, or one poop, and what does that cry mean… beats the hell out of me. Pretty sure most parents, at least mothers, master the cry after week one.
Wait! Maybe that’s one for the blog, something other parents never told me. They “say” they know their baby’s cry, “oh that one means he’s hungry, this one means he’s tired, this one means he peed, and wait… And a poo is on the way”. I was all ready to be the baby whisperer when Cobain arrived, but come 13 months later I don’t know one whiny cry from the next. I may pretend I do, because that’s what good mothers do. But hell, I’ve decided this blog is a free for all, and to let all those soon to be parents know what it’s really all about because no one will ever tell the truth 🙂 I’ll admit yet another thing, I don’t know one Cobain cry from the next!
What inspired this blog was a screaming, “crying”, baby a half hour into bed time, now after a million questions between us, and writing this blog, the beast has settled. Amen!
Mumma C