How to have sex when children are alive

ImageThis is a topic I had in my mind for a while and had been waiting to write an entry on. But first to update you all on my life the past couple weeks. I just became more angry before any other emotion after the firing, mostly because I’ve never been fired in my life, and it was something completely out of my control. But on a happy and unexpected note, I had an interview for a support worker at the Y in before/after school programs. Although it’s only part time, it’s a REAL job and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with the world what I do. I find out this Friday, so I will definitely keep you guys posted. On a personal note, Tim returned home for a short time, but sadly had to return to London again for an undetermined amount of time. So sirs and I are getting back into our routine and doing our best not to kill each other while daddy is away.
Not that the sex thing is an issue now that I don’t have someone to have sex with. But when my husband is around and in the future when sirs is a human being with ears. Whenever I have this discussion with other parents most of them say they have their children in the room across the hall and just giver. Umm, am I the only one who wouldn’t be comfortable with this? Currently our house is attached to my dad’s, with cement, brick, insulation, etc etc between us, and I’m STILL convinced they can hear us. Now once sirs is old enough to hear us I’m not sure my husband and I will ever have sex again. I figure there are only a few options if I ever want to have sex again- 1) Move him to the basement- beside the kitty litter 2) Get a 6 story house, and he still lives in the basement 3) Wait until he’s out of the house (um at 18?) 4) Send him to boarding school. So as you can tell there are few options and none are viable, shit. Other weird fucking couples may be okay with their children listening to them do the humpy hump, but I’m not one of those freaks. Some of you may say, “Oh, we just wait until they’re asleep”. Um yea, just a heads up, they’re not really asleep, you naive bastards. In any baby books, toddler, etc, or marriage books, I’ve never seen how to comfortably have sex while children are in your house. That’s one thing I’d like to know. Anyone have any suggestions, and not anything I’ve mentioned here.
Mumma C

Separation anxiety

 

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So far so good with signing my life over to the crazy boss lady. The job is fun, easy going, and you rarely have to deal with people, bonus! There’s the odd scary old lady who wants everything to be very exact and it’s like she’s just waiting at the door for you to tell you what you did wrong on the walk. Yea, she wasn’t on the walk. All in all, nothing really to report there.

My baby sirs isn’t coming home now for another week and this is causing me major distress. My fun time, mommy alone time has quickly passed and now just become grief. I just found out today that Tim hasn’t been feeling well so he’s not able to make the trip for another couple of days. Oh and before hearing this I finally decided to get my windshield wipers looked at. They had stopped working 3 months ago, and I just figured I’d Ace Ventura it and drive with my head out the window when it rained. Now that I’m driving for a living and it was pouring today, and I didn’t feel like killing myself or anyone else, I finally decided to go to crappy tire to get it looked at. Long story short, luckily was just a bolt loose and “only” cost $150. That really was just to have someone look at it and screw a bolt, and this was after 2 1/2 hour wait. Let me tell you, Canadian Tire is not THAT interesting for 2 hours.

Anyways, I started to tear up a bit while waiting there thinking of not seeing baby for another week. I held it together in public, but when I got home I just cried for 15 minutes in the shower. I want to cry just thinking about it now. Don’t think that your baby will be the only one with separation anxiety, trust me, you will feel it too. When I am away from him I always wonder if he’ll forget me, or resent me, or not want me around when he comes home. I hate when people tell me he won’t forget, you’re his mom, bla bla. How can they know what a 13 month old is thinking, or feeling? Tim told me he’s been really cranky the past day or so, and I can’t help but think it’s because of me. He’s beginning to eat more exciting food, his hair is getting longer, and I think he’s very close to walking. I know it sounds stupid to think it’s only two weeks, but you’d be surprised at how quickly they change in such a short amount of time. When you’re with them all the time you don’t notice it, but when you’re away and then you see them again, you definitely notice it.

Being away from baby and hubby for a couple days is a godsend, it’s like you’re single again and have no cares in the world. But once you do become a mumma, despite all the rants and sour grapes, he’s still your baby and you miss him every second you’re away from him.

Mumma C

Questions… And more questions

I feel there should be a handbook listing every single possible thing a speechless lump could do, and all the things to do when said things occur. My husband and I are constantly questioning what the hell to do in any given situation. “Should we give him a bottle”, “is he cold, is he hot”, “should we let him cry”, “is he hungry”, “are his teeth bothering him”, “should we keep letting him cry”, “I don’t know what to do, do you?”, “should he still be crying”, “do we go in now to check on him, or wait another 5 minutes”. Oh the list is endless, and this is just what we asked each other tonight, and we’ve had this kid for a year now. You’d think we’d know what we were doing by now… Nope. Luckily I have someone that picks up my slack and questioning without hesitation, even if he questions just as much as I do.
So I have actually been told by other parents that you question yourself a lot, ok cool, check ONE off the list. But I feel the questions they are talking about are things that could change the whole course of your child’s life. For example, am I giving him the right education, do I give him enough affection, is he getting the proper nutrition, have I taught him to be a well rounded, caring, community giving human being. Whereas, I’m fucking still wondering if you change the diaper after two pees, or one poop, and what does that cry mean… beats the hell out of me. Pretty sure most parents, at least mothers, master the cry after week one.
Wait! Maybe that’s one for the blog, something other parents never told me. They “say” they know their baby’s cry, “oh that one means he’s hungry, this one means he’s tired, this one means he peed, and wait… And a poo is on the way”. I was all ready to be the baby whisperer when Cobain arrived, but come 13 months later I don’t know one whiny cry from the next. I may pretend I do, because that’s what good mothers do. But hell, I’ve decided this blog is a free for all, and to let all those soon to be parents know what it’s really all about because no one will ever tell the truth 🙂 I’ll admit yet another thing, I don’t know one Cobain cry from the next!
What inspired this blog was a screaming, “crying”, baby a half hour into bed time, now after a million questions between us, and writing this blog, the beast has settled. Amen!
Mumma C

I Feel Like an Old Lady

Still trying to figure out this new realm of blogging, and despite what it says, it wasn’t just a five minute set up process! What brought me here tonight was a screaming 13 month old at 2am and missing writing. Whether you read or don’t, that’s okay, helps me get my thoughts out when I can’t sleep at 3am

What has been running through my head tonight is why no parent ever discusses the guilt they feel daily with having children. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like that can’t possibly be true. By guilt I mean, don’t you constantly wonder am I doing this wrong, am I doing this right, is he fucked up for life because of me, is he okay because of me, is he not doing this because of me, is he doing this because of me. Do I play with him enough, am I teaching him enough. Maybe guilt isn’t the right word… I also think its 3:30 am and I’m just becoming frustrated with technology and I’m not at my best. 

Also in looking at the tags under this blog, I realize that what I’m writing isn’t earth shattering, or news to anyone, but perhaps, it will make me feel better.