Piano man

I thought it would be mean to just have a boring “hey look at me, I’m finally into up to date technology with a Facebook page” as my only entry today. I’ve got to give my new readers a little mmm mmm taste of what they’re getting themselves into *oh god, the pressure of being my hilarious self*.
So there’s this one dog I walk every day and the owners are stuck up snobs who hire people to walk their dog. I realize it seems anyone who hires a dog walker is a snob, but that isn’t the case. We cater to the elderly, people who work (I know, weird right?), and the wealthy snobs. However I believe our company is at the bottom of the totem pole for dog walking businesses in the Kingston area, don’t ask why, just a feeling I have. Anyway, this particular family is never home when I walk their dog, I do occasionally run into their maid though… Yeah, they have a maid. However they have at least one kid who is definitely older than most of my underwear, who can walk across the street without adult accompaniment and is home EVERY time I get there. Um am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? You lazy little self important, I’m too good to walk my own fucking dog– GO WALK YOUR FUCKING DOG! This family could be saving hundreds of dollars a month by having their stupid kid do it, but instead they hire someone else to do it. The dog is just as stuck up as the owners. Daily I say to myself that she’s behaving like a stubborn bitch because of who her owners are. If she doesn’t want to walk in a particular direction, you better believe you’re taking the route she wants to, otherwise she’ll just sit and wait till you give in. Bitch.
To add to the beauty of the situation every time I would go to the house someone would be playing the piano. I began hearing the piano before I saw who was playing it, and thought they were quite good, good voice, but played the same damn thing every single time. So this went on for a couple weeks, piano playing every time I went to the house, which was the same time every day. I was beginning to wonder if this person was just doing it to show off when I came around. I forgot about it for a while, but then became convinced when I was maybe 5 meters from the house (who am I kidding, I know nothing of measurements). Lets just say I was out of sight of the house. I didn’t hear anything, but the second I came up to the house the piano man started belting out that same stupid song. So I’m thinking, this person is definitely trying to show off, and for the dog walker, haha, not so cool now are ya? A couple days ago I popped my head in to ask something and it was the kid, with the same singing voice! The kid was trying to impress the dog walker, how sweet. Hey, you know what would really impress me? You walking your own dog!
I had been saving this story and now that it’s out of my brain and into words, it doesn’t seem as funny as it did in my head… Awkwarrrrd.
Hope you got a laugh anyway, new and old readers alike.
Mumma C

Separation anxiety

 

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So far so good with signing my life over to the crazy boss lady. The job is fun, easy going, and you rarely have to deal with people, bonus! There’s the odd scary old lady who wants everything to be very exact and it’s like she’s just waiting at the door for you to tell you what you did wrong on the walk. Yea, she wasn’t on the walk. All in all, nothing really to report there.

My baby sirs isn’t coming home now for another week and this is causing me major distress. My fun time, mommy alone time has quickly passed and now just become grief. I just found out today that Tim hasn’t been feeling well so he’s not able to make the trip for another couple of days. Oh and before hearing this I finally decided to get my windshield wipers looked at. They had stopped working 3 months ago, and I just figured I’d Ace Ventura it and drive with my head out the window when it rained. Now that I’m driving for a living and it was pouring today, and I didn’t feel like killing myself or anyone else, I finally decided to go to crappy tire to get it looked at. Long story short, luckily was just a bolt loose and “only” cost $150. That really was just to have someone look at it and screw a bolt, and this was after 2 1/2 hour wait. Let me tell you, Canadian Tire is not THAT interesting for 2 hours.

Anyways, I started to tear up a bit while waiting there thinking of not seeing baby for another week. I held it together in public, but when I got home I just cried for 15 minutes in the shower. I want to cry just thinking about it now. Don’t think that your baby will be the only one with separation anxiety, trust me, you will feel it too. When I am away from him I always wonder if he’ll forget me, or resent me, or not want me around when he comes home. I hate when people tell me he won’t forget, you’re his mom, bla bla. How can they know what a 13 month old is thinking, or feeling? Tim told me he’s been really cranky the past day or so, and I can’t help but think it’s because of me. He’s beginning to eat more exciting food, his hair is getting longer, and I think he’s very close to walking. I know it sounds stupid to think it’s only two weeks, but you’d be surprised at how quickly they change in such a short amount of time. When you’re with them all the time you don’t notice it, but when you’re away and then you see them again, you definitely notice it.

Being away from baby and hubby for a couple days is a godsend, it’s like you’re single again and have no cares in the world. But once you do become a mumma, despite all the rants and sour grapes, he’s still your baby and you miss him every second you’re away from him.

Mumma C

Home Alone 8…. This time it’s mummy’s turn

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Since we are living in a new city my husband goes back to see his family ever month or so. Last month I tagged along so i could see my family as well, but this time, baby and husband have gone for the week. Everyone loves having the house to themselves, regardless if you have children or not. I always get the most excited about the food I’m going to eat. It’s like I’m 15 again, my parents are gone for the night and I get to raid the cupboards. Only this time I’m 28 and I have a car to buy all the glorious treats that I never get because I don’t want to share them with my husband. I probably won’t have a single well balanced meal while they’re away, and dinner will start with dessert and end with dessert.
I’m laughing at myself while writing this because it’s not like Tim stops me from eating like a piggy wrapped in more piggy, it’s just that I feel less guilty, and like I said before, no sharesies. So besides eating like I’m at an all you can eat junk food buffet, what will I do with my week?
Well I do have my big interview that I need to brush up on my poop patrol municipal guidelines, so that’ll take all of no time. Most of the week will hopefully be spent outside in the sun, as it’s amazing how little I do it now with baby. Maybe get my hair done, or pretend that I have friends in this city and go out for drinks and dinner. Perhaps not as much writing will get does as my inspiration is gone for the week and I can only write so much about my eating habits.
Enjoy your weekend readers!
Mumma C