How to have sex when children are alive

ImageThis is a topic I had in my mind for a while and had been waiting to write an entry on. But first to update you all on my life the past couple weeks. I just became more angry before any other emotion after the firing, mostly because I’ve never been fired in my life, and it was something completely out of my control. But on a happy and unexpected note, I had an interview for a support worker at the Y in before/after school programs. Although it’s only part time, it’s a REAL job and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to share with the world what I do. I find out this Friday, so I will definitely keep you guys posted. On a personal note, Tim returned home for a short time, but sadly had to return to London again for an undetermined amount of time. So sirs and I are getting back into our routine and doing our best not to kill each other while daddy is away.
Not that the sex thing is an issue now that I don’t have someone to have sex with. But when my husband is around and in the future when sirs is a human being with ears. Whenever I have this discussion with other parents most of them say they have their children in the room across the hall and just giver. Umm, am I the only one who wouldn’t be comfortable with this? Currently our house is attached to my dad’s, with cement, brick, insulation, etc etc between us, and I’m STILL convinced they can hear us. Now once sirs is old enough to hear us I’m not sure my husband and I will ever have sex again. I figure there are only a few options if I ever want to have sex again- 1) Move him to the basement- beside the kitty litter 2) Get a 6 story house, and he still lives in the basement 3) Wait until he’s out of the house (um at 18?) 4) Send him to boarding school. So as you can tell there are few options and none are viable, shit. Other weird fucking couples may be okay with their children listening to them do the humpy hump, but I’m not one of those freaks. Some of you may say, “Oh, we just wait until they’re asleep”. Um yea, just a heads up, they’re not really asleep, you naive bastards. In any baby books, toddler, etc, or marriage books, I’ve never seen how to comfortably have sex while children are in your house. That’s one thing I’d like to know. Anyone have any suggestions, and not anything I’ve mentioned here.
Mumma C

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7 thoughts on “How to have sex when children are alive

  1. I like this one! Do you think our parents didn’t have sex while we were in the house? Or for that fact that any of the sibblings didn’t have sex while we were in the house? It’s a normal, healthy fact of life… It becomes a little more challenging, but if anything it spices things up because you have to try and find a way to do it and not get caught! 😛 Someone is going to walk in on you, someone is going to make some sorta of comment about the noises that were comming from your bed and if you think the parents can hear you through all that rock, don’t use a squeaky bed! LOL At least their bed is not on the same wall as your bed (assuming your bed is where it used to be)! Now if you manange to knock down the painting on the otherside of the wall, K will be very upset! Turn on some more creative juices and you will find a solution, and when does it have to be uncomfortable to have sex when the kids are around? At some point your need/want will be more then your comfort level. :O) 😉

  2. Speaking of kids meant to be sleeping, when I was little my brother and I were up and awake and wondering around the house while my mum and dad were at it (thinking we were still sleeping of course). My brother is 2.5 years younger than me btw. Anyway I can still remember us hiding behind the door jam spying. I turn to my brother and say “When they get up later go up to Daddy and say: ‘I saw you and mummy fucking’. He did. And my dad hit the roof!!! He was soooo mad. So that’s what happens when you assume the kids are asleep. Are you more paranoid now???? lol

  3. Tell your kids that spiders will crawl in his head and eat his brain if he doesn’t wear special earplugs every night.
    From a non-parent 😛

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